The Fourteenth Person
One in fourteen. That’s the number. Statistically, one out of every fourteen people you meet is someone you don’t want in your life—a sociopath, a narcissist, someone who’s wired for manipulation. That one person looks just like the others, but they’re not here to play fair. They’re here to win, no matter who gets hurt.
What Are Dark Triad Personalities?
Dark Triad personalities refer to a trio of negative traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. These traits are often found in individuals who are manipulative, self-centered, and lack empathy. Narcissists crave admiration and believe they are superior to others. Machiavellians are calculated and willing to exploit others to achieve their goals, often with a focus on personal gain at any cost. Psychopaths are characterized by impulsivity, a lack of guilt or remorse, and shallow emotions. Together, these traits create individuals who can be toxic in personal and professional environments, excelling at manipulation and creating chaos to further their own ambitions. Recognizing these traits is the first step in learning how to navigate interactions with them.
I wish I could say I’ve always spotted them. I haven’t. In fact, I’ve lost. Twice. Two jobs in a row where I was blindsided by the Fourteenth. They come in, smiling, saying all the right things, but before you know it, they’ve undermined you, twisted the narrative, and left you reeling. The worst part? By the time you realize what happened, they’ve already moved on, unfazed, while you’re left picking up the pieces.
Here’s a test you can take to to ID dark triads. Test. Of course I took it. No, I’m not going to tell you how I scored. But it’s fun, and quick. If you don’t want to potentially confront yourself (would you care, if you were a dark triad?) you can always take it as your non-favorite co-worker, boss, ex, etc.
Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy
Why Sociopaths Thrive in the Workplace
Sociopaths often thrive in the workplace because their manipulative behaviors can be mistaken for ambition, confidence, or even leadership. In environments that reward results over relationships, sociopaths exploit the system, using charm, deception, and calculated risk-taking to climb the ranks. They excel in high-pressure, competitive settings where empathy and collaboration can be overshadowed by individual success. With a lack of guilt or remorse, they easily manipulate colleagues, take credit for others’ work, and shift blame when things go wrong. Their ability to stay calm under stress and strategically manage their image allows them to navigate office politics with an edge that others simply don’t have. In many cases, their toxic behavior is tolerated, or even rewarded, because they deliver results, often leaving a trail of personal and professional damage behind them.
By definition, no one has a string of great relationships. Or a string of great jobs. If you’ve been in the game long enough, you’ve met your Fourteenth. And you’ve probably lost to them at least once. Maybe you didn’t even realize what hit you until it was over.
Strategies to Protect Yourself from Toxic Coworkers
I’ve scoured the research—Harvard Business Review, psychology journals, sociology magazines, blogs, books—everywhere. I’ve talked to therapists, sociologists, HR professionals, my B school proferssors. And yet, after years of combing through case studies and articles, including The Atlantic’s “The Sociopaths Among Us—And How to Avoid Them,” I’m left with the same hollow advice: avoid them. That’s it. No magic formula. No master plan. I’ve read case studies about confrontations, public and private. Going over their heads. Playing the game right back at them. Some say you can teach sociopaths to behave, get them to follow the rules. But there’s no consistent, reliable strategy proven in the studies. It’s as if everyone acknowledges the problem, but no one really knows how to win against it.
And yet, there’s emerging research that suggests a different way to think about these encounters. While avoidance and boundary-setting are key, some experts now advocate for targeted collaboration. Rather than confront or evade, the strategy is to control the interaction by focusing on shared goals—however superficial. By aligning on outcomes that matter to them, you can minimize the emotional damage and gain control of the professional dynamic. In short, don’t engage their ego; engage their self-interest. This approach isn’t foolproof, but it shifts the battlefield to a place where you hold more power: outcomes, not personalities. Even when you can’t win completely, you can minimize the losses.
But perhaps the answer isn’t in fighting or avoiding—it might be in *neutralizing*. Research into workplace dynamics suggests that when direct confrontation isn’t feasible, there’s power in **disempowering** a sociopath by minimizing their influence. Instead of engaging head-on, you surround yourself with a strong network of allies. The strategy is to build coalitions, reinforce positive relationships, and quietly reshape the power dynamics in your favor. Rather than fueling their need for conflict, you take the wind out of their sails by cultivating trust with others. Research from behavioral psychologists also suggests that focusing on **unpredictability**—not giving them the reactions they expect—can throw off their manipulative tendencies, making you a less appealing target. In the end, maybe the game isn’t about defeating them, but about making yourself untouchable.
I’ve been there. I’m still figuring out how to win. I wish there was a clear answer—a cheat code for navigating a world where some people are just built to deceive, to manipulate. What I’ve learned is this: protect your space, watch their actions more than their words, rob their power base, from coalitions and when they strike, don’t stick around for round two.
One in fourteen. You’re not always going to win. But you can learn to see them coming.
About the Author
Robert Synak has spent over 25 years leading in environments that range from hazardous industrial construction sites to high-stakes boardrooms in Palo Alto. Whether navigating risk on the ground or shaping strategy at the executive level, he’s driven by a single passion: helping people hit their heights. As Hannah Arendt put it in The Human Condition, it’s about achieving excellence among your peers—and Robert believes everyone has that potential, given the right tools and mindset. When disaster strikes, he’s the person you call to put arms around your opportunities and people, to steady the ship, mitigate risks, and move fast.
References
Some links, leading off with the Atlantic article that got me thinking today. The studies are out there. The strategies are less than perfect.
McCarthy, M. (2023, October 4). The sociopaths among us—and how to avoid them. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/10/dark-triads-toxic-personalities/675683/
Ross, M.-C. (2022, September 12). How to reduce damage to your career from a sociopath in the workplace. Marie-Claire Ross. https://www.marie-claireross.com/blog/how-to-reduce-damage-to-your-career-from-a-sociopath-in-the-workplace
Porath, C. (2022, April 29). How to confront a bully at work. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2022/04/how-to-confront-a-bully-at-work
Chamorro-Premuzic, T., & Furnham, A. (2010). The dark side of charisma. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2012/11/the-dark-side-of-charisma
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Sociopaths at work | Dark Triad personalities | Dealing with toxic coworkers | Workplace manipulation | Office politics and sociopaths | How to handle a narcissistic boss